i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize