Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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