Michael Bay diarrhea
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Your shirt... Was in my pants
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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