this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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