I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
