i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
