omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
