Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
