just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
