Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
