The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize