i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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