my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
