on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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