butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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