I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize