3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
