Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
