Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
