she was so not down for the gang bang
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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