Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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