If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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