Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
