found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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