You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
