it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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