remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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