Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
