the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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