Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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