What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
