well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
