OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
