I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize