Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
