Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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