5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
