i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
