What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
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