problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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