They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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