I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
