you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
