i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
