He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
