Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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