No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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