JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
