How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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