It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize