Buhtt sex?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
