I wish they made helmets for livers.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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