We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
