I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
