i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
