Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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